I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I am one with the molecules
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
