Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
