I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
