GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
