she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Pants are for mortals
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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