she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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