you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
