Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize