Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
