got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
