just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
