They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
