Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
