So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
