I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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