This girl is more easily done than said...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
