God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She's JV to your varsity
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
