She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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