dude i'm inner monologue high
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
