Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
