You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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