I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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