the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
