bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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