IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
