She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
