We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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