Please, let me fuck your mom
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
