the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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