i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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