apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
