I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
