i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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