Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i came on her dog
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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