Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
All the doctor said was why
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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