Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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