Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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