He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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