Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We left an ass print on the piano.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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