I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
