Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize