Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
