just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
