I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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