Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
