This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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