I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
