I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
