New invention idea: vibrating tampons
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
