I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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