I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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