I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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