its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
