Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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