I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
