i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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