I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
