Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
