Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize