He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
