Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
