I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
